Worship Music

Hey Guys... I have something really great to share with you today.  I totally meant to share this with you last week, but I was sick.  Like fever so high I hallucinated being covered in ants.  Turned out I had strep.  It was awful.

Anyways, on to the good stuff.  I attend Austin Stone Community Church in Austin.  I love my church. Every single week I'm taught theology that is life changing.  Not only are we taught through our preaching pastors, but we are also taught Biblical truths through our worship teams.

I'm so excited to share with you the new album our worship team just released, King of Love.  It is absolutely amazing and you can check it out and purchase it here.  If you're musically inclined you can also check out the chord charts.  There's also a tab you click on to learn about the theology behind the songs.

Besides the fact that the music is absolutely beautiful on this album I love that I can have it on all the time and fill my house with worship music.  Plus my kids are learning truths about Jesus when they hear it.

I think my favorite song is Jesus Is Better.  I even have some of the lyrics written on my chalkboard in my breakfast room.  The song is based on the story of the father who asked Jesus to help his son, who had an unclean spirit.  At one point the father says, "I believe.  Help my unbelief."  How many times do I feel this way.  I'm crying out to God, "I believe.  Help me believe!"  I know Jesus is better than anything, but do I really?  Only he can help me really really know it.

In all my sorrows, Jesus is better - make my heart believe

In all my victories, Jesus is better - make my heart believe

Than any comfort, Jesus is better - make my heart believe

More than all riches, Jesus is better - make my heart believe

Our souls declaring, Jesus is better - make my heart believe

Our song eternal, Jesus is better - make my heart believe

So, please go check out the new album.  I know you'll love it as much as I do.  Fill your home with worship and learn more about God.

I was given an advanced copy of King of Love, but the opinions in the post are entirely my own.

Praying for Crazy Things

Sometimes I pray for crazy big things.
Like.completely.totally.nuts.things.

I know they're crazy.
I know it's asking for something huge.
But here's the thing; I know absolutely for certain that God will answer.
He always answers.

Right now I have a really big thing on my heart.  I want to move to Ireland.  I know!  Right?  From Austin to Ireland.  Yep, that's crazy and that's huge.  But that's what's on my heart.  I've loved Ireland for as long as I can remember.  Part of my family immigrated from Ireland.  St. Patrick's Day is one of my favorite holidays and we celebrate it big.  Jerad has actually worked in Ireland.  The company he works for has a division there and he could possibly relocate there one day.  And now...well my oldest son has a pen pal in Ireland (in the same city where Jerad has done work by the way) through his school.

I have big dreams for moving to Ireland.  I can see us living in a cute little cottage on rolling green hills surrounded by sheep.  Yes, I absolutely know this is crazy.  But even bigger than that are my dreams of telling the people in Ireland about Jesus.  I know it's not some country that's never heard of Jesus.  I know it's not run by people that hate Christians.  It may not seem like a lofty dream to reach people that have never heard the gospel.  But then again, maybe it is.  Everyone knows Ireland is hugely Catholic.  A majority of the people call themselves Catholic.  However, (from the research I've done) the majority of those people are not practicing Catholics.  The majority practice no faith at all.  The Irish people need Jesus just like the rest of the world.  I want to tell them about Jesus.  I want to tell them about the Gospel.  I want to share the truth of the Gospel that will bring them to salvation.  I want to go.

I'm gonna be real with you here and tell you that I have absolutely no idea if this is what God's heart is for my family.  I'm okay with that.  I pour out my heart to God all the time and find out that what I want is no where near what he wants.  I'm learning (slowly) that what he wants is always better.  So, if he doesn't move our family then what has planned for us is FAR FAR better than Ireland.

This is something I love about God, he is my father and because of that I can ask him for crazy big things and he'll smile at me and answer.  Right now that answer is wait, and one day he's gonna answer with yes or no.

So, I'm spending time praying about it.  I'm praying that God will allow a way for us to move there if it's what he wants for us.  I'm asking him to change my heart if it's not his plan for us.  I'm praying for contentment where ever he wants us.

I'm thankful that God hears and answers my prayers.  I'm thankful he's a father that wants to give his children good gifts.

Stolen Identity

I am suffering from a case of stolen identity. No one stole my credit card or social security number. My money is still safely in my bank account. It doesn't matter, my identity was swiped and I let it happen.

See, I know that the Devil is a thief.  His goal is to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10).  This week I let it happen.

You see, my identity is one that should be firmly rooted in my Savior (Galations 3:26-27).  I know I am his child and he is the very best part of me. Unfortunately, I chose to believe the Chief Liar this week.  I chose to believe that my identity was found in other things.  Namely, that of wife and mother.

So what?  I am a wife and mother.  Isn't that part of my identity?  No.  It's what I do.  It's not who I am.   I am a sinner, saved by grace, an adopted child of God (Ephesians 1:4-5).  That is who I am and EVERY.SINGLE.THING about me rests in that truth.

Here's the problem with finding my identity in other things:  when things go wrong I completely fall apart and when things go right I am filled with pride.

Take for example my rad mothering skillz (or lack there of depending on the situation).  When the boys and I are in a public place and they're behaving and I speak in a fairly calm voice and maybe have on matching clothes and a little make up, people at times have been known to say, "I don't know how you do it.  You seem totally put together."  Well, honey let me tell you how I do it.  I am wonder woman.  I can conquer all evil within my children, I wake up ready to face the day, and make up magically appears on my face each and every day.  Of course I do it.  Of course I'm awesome.  I should have 20 more kids because they'd be blessed to have a mom like me.

Right. That's no where near the truth. But that is the lie of my enemy. That's the lie that he wants me to believe so that I have faith in myself. So that I have a pride filled heart.  That is the lie that I hear because I find my identity in being a mom.  The absolute truth is this; the ONLY way we make it through each day is because of God's grace.  It is his grace that I have patience.  It is completely his grace on my tired soul if my kids are behaving.  It is his love poured out on me that I can speak kindly to my children even when they disobey.

Then, oh help me, it's even worse if my kids are acting like normal children.  I have four boys y'all.  This means lots of yelling, lots of fighting, lots of disobeying.  So, what has sometimes happened is this; we'll be in public and the boys will be running off in different directions or hitting each other and some sweet little elderly person will say, "You sure have your hands full."  Yep, you're totally right.  This is way more than I can handle.  What was God thinking?  Everything is out of control.  These kids would be better off with a mom that could love them better, discipline them better, have more control.  They'd be better off without me.

That's no where near the truth either.  My enemy has come in and fed me lies that lead to defeat.  Lies that cause me to question God's plan for my life.  Lies that cause me to question God's sovereignty in my life.  Lies that can lead me down a path of great destruction. Here's the absolute truth; my boys are A LOT to handle, and I can't do it on my own.  But if I depend on God then we will be okay.  I will be the mom he wants me to be and he will mold their hearts to love him.

Now, if I had found my identity in Christ rather than in my role as a mom these little comments wouldn't set me in a tail spin of pride or despair.  They'd simply be another way for me to point to Jesus.

The truth is I don't want people to look at me and think I'm a great mom.  I want people to look at me and see my successes and many failures as a way that I show my kids Jesus.  If I show my kids love when they're disobedient it's because Jesus first showed me love.  If one of my kids chooses to share it's because Jesus is changing his heart, not because I'm doing something right.  If I have make up on then it's because God gave me the gift of a great husband who let me have 5 minutes to myself to throw some paint on my face.

Everything.  Absolutely everything is because of him.  I don't want to have Satan steal my identity anymore.  I can't have one foot in my identity as a child of God and another foot in an identity based on worldly things.  I want my life to be an outpouring of Christ so that everything I do, everything that people see in me is because of who he is.

I Will Give You Rest

Tonight I am tired.  Every single muscle in body hurts.  My mind has reached its end; I am emotionally spent.  It is the end of the day and I feel like I have nothing left to give.

I wish I were in bed, but I'm waiting on laundry that has to finish the wash cycle so that it can be moved to the dryer.  I'm waiting on water to boil so that I can boil our combs and brushes.

Today I've treated 4 people for lice.  If you ever want to torture someone have them treat children for lice.  The whining, crying, and pain that will ensue is enough to drive you completely over the edge and that's not even getting into what the children will do.

I've stripped 6 beds, I've gone to Parent Night at the school, I've run errands.  Over the past two days my mind has been processing through some really hard stuff.  Things I'll write about soon.  And I'm done.

This isn't something new.  I feel like this a lot.  There is always something for me to be doing.  Always.  There are always dishes that need to be washed and put away, clothes that need to washed, toilets that need to be cleaned, floors that need to be scrubbed.  Always.  Children need help with homework, meals need to be made. I never go to bed thinking, "Boy I got everything done today. I rock."  I do go to bed thinking, "Man, today was hard and I feel like I got nothing done.  I have so much to do tomorrow."

Tonight as I was scrubbing the hardened mac-n-cheese from a pot so that I could boil our combs I was feeling really sorry for myself.  I was lamenting the hours of the day.  I was crying over my tired, weak body, and the seemingly endless chores still to be done.  Then God spoke to me, "Come to me all who are heavy laden and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28.

There you have it friends.  I need rest.  Desperately.  I'm sure many of you do too.  When was the last time I asked God for rest?  I couldn't tell you.  I have no idea if I've ever asked for that. I ask for more energy.  I ask for obedient and helpful children.  I fill my body with coffee.  I don't ask God for what he has promised me.  I don't ask him for the thing I need so desperately.

I feel a tugging in my soul to beg God for rest.  Not for sleep, not for quiet, but for rest.  Truthfully I don't even fully know what it means, but I believe that this promise from God is exactly what I need.  I believe he will give it to me and that it will be more wonderful that I can imagine.  I believe that rest that comes from him is better than anything else that I could possibly seek for my weary body and soul.

Sweet friends, do you need rest?  I know you do.  Let me encourage you to turn to your loving Father and ask him for it.  See what he has in store for you.  Will you let me know if you're joining me in this request?  I would love to pray for you.

**The above pictures were taken on my husbands trip to Ireland.  One day I will travel there and rest.**

Praying for the future of my boys

I could be totally wrong here, which has been known to happen before...occasionally.  But, I feel like we're seeing a shift of thought in my generation, especially in Christian circles.

In past generations parents wanted their children to do better in life than they had.  Bigger homes, better paying jobs, nicer everything...but I feel like that's changed with 20 and 30 somethings.   Those of us that are believers in Jesus want our children to follow God even if that means they don't have the best of everything.  If it means they live in a tent in the jungle, sleep in the slums of India, it doesn't matter.  As long as they're doing something that draws more people to God.

Unfortunately, for me at least, that has lead to some really specific prayers that I'm not sure are at all Godly.  I've found myself praying that God will make my boys do great Godly things in this world.  I've prayed that they'll be missionaries and reach people that have never heard of Jesus, even if they live in a hut in Africa.  I've prayed they'll be Christian musicians that lead people to meaningful worship, even if it's in a small church and they make hardly any money.  I've prayed they'll preach the gospel with passion and many will come to know Christ.

How in the world could those prayers be ungodly you might ask?  Because what if that's not what God calls them to do?  What if he leads them down a path where they become a teacher that prays daily over their students?  What if they become a doctor that comforts their patients when they find out they have a life threatening disease?  What if they become a scientist that finds a cure for a disease?  Or a lawyer that helps find justice for people that have been victimized?  What if they work in the corporate world and invest in the lives of their co-workers so that see Jesus.  I haven't prayed for anything of those things.  I've backed God into a corner and said, "There's only a few things I want my boys to do because that's what I think will bring glory to you the most."  I haven't said, "God draw my boys close to you and show them the path you want them to take.  Whatever you have in store for them, I know it will be the best." 

My prayers show my real trust in God.  I'm saying, "I know what's best, and you don't."  I want this to change.  With all my heart.  I want to trust God completely with whatever he has in store for my kids.

So, here's what I'm committing to do.  I'm gonna ask him to change heart.  I'm not going to start out praying shallow prayers of "God please lead my boys down whatever path you want."  I'm gonna pray, "God, help me trust you.  Help me believe that you know what's best, no matter what."  Then I will pray, "God, I believe, help my unbelief." (Mark 9:24), and as I pray I trust he will change my heart.  And my prayers for my boys will be something like "God, I know you love my boys more than I ever could.  I know you will always have their very best interest in mind.  I believe that where ever you lead them in life they will make your name great.  Any job they could ever end up doing will be exactly what you want them to be doing because you are sovereign."

 

These sweet precious boys hold my heart and I absolutely want the very best for them in life.  I want them to do great things for God.  I'm believing that God knows exactly where they can fulfill his purpose for their lives.  I'm trusting God to lead them to the place where they work in a job that makes a difference for his kingdom.

Hello Community

Today I'm linking up with Lisa Leonard for her Hello Monday Series.

Hello to a group of people that I have come to absolutely adore.  We share meals, our lives, our hopes and dreams. We share in each others joys and sorrows.  We share in our successes and failures. And we've got a firefighter that can cook some mean migas! 

Hello to friends that I can call and share when I'm struggling and they will tell me about Jesus.  They'll remind me how much he loves me.  They'll speak truth into in my life.  When they tell me about their struggles they trust me to do the same.  I can share the love of Christ and we can rejoice in God's grace and mercy.

Hello to kids that get to grow up seeing their parents love Jesus and spend their days living for him.  Kids that we pray will one day do big giant things for the kingdom of God.  Kids that are developing their own love for Jesus and developing their own faith in God.

  

I am so grateful that I don't have to live this life alone.  I have a group of people that God has blessed me with that will spur me on in faith.  We have deep theological talks about things we have questions about.  We have fun talks about zombies.  We have talk about every day life; kids that disobey, problems at work, the laundry that 4 kids can produce.  We're regular people, with regular lives, living with a mission to share Jesus with others.

Developing My Walk With God

Last year I had the amazing opportunity to go through the Women's Development Program through The Austin Stone Institute.  To say it was life changing is an understatement.  The program wrecked my world, rocked me to my core, and completely changed how I view God.

I spent a year studying theology that I had never even thought about.   Did you know God as communicable and incommunicable attributes?  Yea, I didn't either, but he does and they affect how I view him and how I live my life.  One of the biggest things for me was to understand the theology of imputed sin and imputed righteousness; that because Adam sinned we are all born sinners AND (hallelujah) because of Jesus' death on the cross we can be seen as righteous before God if we become followers of Christ. 

We also spent the year studying hermeneutics, that is how to study the Bible.  Y'all there is no way for me to fully share how this changed my life.  Before I took this class I would open my Bible and read and hope for something to jump out at me.  Thinking that was the way God would speak to me, but ending up frustrated because it rarely actually happened.  I'd end up feeling like a failure because reading the Bible didn't have an impact on my life.  Now I can't wait to read the Bible.  Right now I'm reading through 1 Samuel and Romans.  I've been taught how to dig into the text and actually understand what God was saying through the person writing it.  I actually memorized the entire book of Philippians last year and loved it. 

We ended the year with a mission trip to London.  Our purpose was to share Jesus with people that had never heard about him before.  There is a huge population in London that has never heard the truth of gospel of Christ.  This trip was the first time I had shared Jesus with someone I'd never met before.  Sure I've shared parts of my story with people I know...what God has done/is doing in my life, but I've never put that aside and just started talking to a person on the street and told them the story of Jesus.  That we know he was God's son, that he died for us, that he rose again, and that he offers us eternal life.  It was amazing.  To see Jesus transform lives of people that were living in darkness was the best thing I've ever experienced.

 Here are two of my friends that went on the trip with me

This year I have the opportunity to lead a group of women through the Women's Development Program.  I am so excited about this.  I know how much God changed me and I can't wait to see what he does in the lives of these precious ladies.  It is a privilege to get to walk this journey with them.  As I go through this program again I know that God has big things in store for me and I can't wait to see what else he wants to change in me.