First off...has it really been almost 4 months since I last blogged? How did that happen? My days are quickly slipping by and I don't know how to slow them down.
God has been showing me some great things these last few months. Maybe that's why there's been silence on the blog. Sometimes when I'm being taught so much I feel like I have nothing to offer. Do you feel like that at times? If I have so much still to learn then what business do I have sharing my thoughts with others?
Well, in the midst of this learning, God has laid some heavy things on my heart and writing about them helps me process through it and it is a way for me to be able to look back and see what God is doing.
One of the ways God is teaching me right now is through my sweet kids. They need so much guidance and as I try to point them to Jesus I find that I'm having to point myself back to him as well.
The other day I was in our car with our youngest. He's four. He's REALLY into Iron Man. He requests over and over to meet Tony Stark so he can learn to build an Iron Man suit. That day in the car he asked if he could buy a new Iron Man toy at Target. Now, he just had a birthday and not long before that was Christmas. So, he's actually received a multitude of Iron Man toys in the past couple of months. I said no. I reminded him of all the gifts he had just received and I told him that we needed to be happy with what we had. And he proceeded to completely fall apart. There were great tears of sorrow in our minivan that day. I wanted to tell him to stop. I wanted to tell him that he was being selfish and ridiculous. That's my own sin. I was being selfish because I didn't want to take the time to deal with the real problem. But God is so good and he stopped me in my tracks.
We pulled in the parking lot at Target and I pulled him into my lap. We talked about the new toys he had just received. We talked about being grateful for what we have. And then we talked about Jesus. I asked my sweet boy who his treasure is. I asked if Iron Man was his greatest treasure. He said he didn't know. Then I told him that Jesus is our treasure. Jesus is the greatest thing that we can ever have in our lives and no toy is going to be better than Jesus. If we are upset because we can't have a toy then we don't know that Jesus is better than any toy.
And that my friends, is when I completely lost it in the parking lot at Target. There were huge tears of sorrow shed in the parking lot that morning. Not for my son, but for me. Jesus wasn't my treasure. I was getting ready to walk in to Target with no list, no items needing to be checked off. I had one plan. Walk through Target and see what caught my eye. Buy what I wanted, even if I didn't need it.
I was bored. I was discontent. I was seeking to fill a void. There had been no time spent with Jesus that day. I didn't treasure my Savior at all. And God broke my heart that day. He showed me the condition of my heart. In the parking lot at Target I asked God to change me. I asked him to make me treasure him above all else. I asked him to work in my life.
Do you know what? He did. We never even went in Target. We turned the car around and went home. I spent time on the couch with my boy reading a children's bible. Together we treasured our Savior.
That was about a month ago. God has continued to work in my heart. Just today I took my boy to IKEA for a free lunch (kid's eat free on Tuesday!!). Walking through the maze that is IKEA I saw lots of things I wanted. In particular there was a plant that I wanted. I don't need it, but it would sure look cool in my dining room. I was actually looking at pots to go along with it, when I was reminded of my real treasure. You see I've just told a sweet friend that I will help support her financially so that she can tell people about Jesus who have never heard of him. I was treasuring a plant more than treasuring a God who wants his children to know him. I left the plant at IKEA.
Just to be clear. I don't think buying things is wrong. I don't think that I should have an empty house and give all my money away. I want people to enjoy coming to home and I want to be able to provide a place to relax for my friends and family. I think God wants us to have homes like that as well. It's part of being hospitable and serving others.
However, if my reason to buy things is because I am seeking fulfillment in them rather than my Savior then I am believing a lie that my things are a better treasure than Jesus.
I am grateful that my treasure is not of this world. That my treasure is a Savior who will never leave me unfulfilled.