I fail. I fail a lot actually. Like every.single.day. Like multiple.times.every.single.day.
I don't know about the rest of you, but for me I have realized that I face my failures in one of two ways. I either run from it and try to forget about it or I face it head on and deal with it right then.
Honestly, most of the time I run for the hills and wish that I had a pill to make me forget. Let's just state for the record that running for the hills is not helpful. I can't forget and so I tuck the failure into the recesses of my mind for the next time I fail. That way, when I fail again I have more ammo. Not only did I fail once, but I recall all the times I've failed before. So then, I'm dealing with the fact that not only did I make one mistake but really I'm just a big huge failure with no hope of ever fulfilling God's plan for my life. What? You don't have that kind of self-talk when you mess up? Good for you. Stop reading this blog and go play with your pet unicorn. I'm just kidding. I'm happy for you. Really. Teach me your wise ways.
Then there are those rare occasions that I deal with the failure head on. I acknowledge that I messed up, but I also acknowledge that this failure doesn't define me. For instance, let's say that maybe we had a huge horrible messy morning before the kids went off to school. Let's say that I raised my voice, got angry, slammed a door. I mean this is totally hypothetical, and would never really happen in my house, but just pretend that it might have possibly happened at some point. Instead of wallowing in the failure and feeling like I'm the worst mother on the planet and my kids are going to be scarred for the rest of their lives and spend thousands of dollars on therapy to deal with their crazy mother, I decide to deal with the issue right then. First, I pray and ask God to forgive my lack of self control and for not allowing the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control) to be evident in my life. Then I asked for forgiveness from my family. If per chance my child that pushed me to my limit is already at school, then I go to school. That's right, I'll be the crazy mom in the hall asking for forgiveness from my son. I'm not going to let him feel like a failure all day because he made his mom mad. I'm going to remind him that God is a God of second chances and we all need second chances sometimes. I'll ask for his forgiveness. We'll pray.
Then I'll spend some time in scripture, reminding myself of God's truth. Truth that says I am a new creation and that because of Jesus I have been reconciled to God and he does not see my failures. Instead he has imputed Christs' righteousness on me. (2 Corinthians 5:17-21) Praise God, he doesn't see me as a huge failure. He sees me as his child, that he loves. And best of all, there's coming a day, when I will no longer struggle against this sinful self. I will be changed forever. The final victory will occur through Jesus Christ!! (1 Corinthians 15:51-57). Oh, I can't wait for that day.
Let me encourage you all to face your failures as they happen ('cause we all know they're gonna happen, right?) and run to Jesus with them. Thank him that he has covered every failure with his blood. Because of that God sees us as righteous.
I know there will be times when I slip up and fail again to remember God's truth and wallow in the stink of lies that fill my mind when I fail. But I'm praying that God will be faithful to his promises and keep me close to him. Drawing me out of the dark places in my mind and shining his light in my heart.